There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Damn victory sex feels great
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
