You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize