Screwed.edu
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize