We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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