Only a mothe r could love this liver
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Randomize
