I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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