I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
