she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
