no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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