I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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