i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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