wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
