you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
