totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Two words: nipple clamps
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