i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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