even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You are a genius and a whore.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
