You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
