I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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