I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
