wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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