I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
