Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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