Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
