Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I believe in your delicious
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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