i think my tv is drunk
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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