do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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