wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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