I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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