so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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