Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
