Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How external is "for external use only"?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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