i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
