friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
