I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
