What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
