good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize