Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
