i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
