everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
