Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
