just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
