if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
