We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
