for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Boobs are out for the taking
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
