i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
