You're earring is so big in my mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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