Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
