8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
