I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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