how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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