We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
