yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She's the barista slut.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
