i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
