if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
