she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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