This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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