I wanna passion pit in your ass
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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