HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
