Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
