This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
