please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
