The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
