sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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