She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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