i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
