My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
