I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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