I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
