What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize