If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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