I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
