Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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