Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
