All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
