Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
