She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
